The repercussions of 2 bottles of wine.

There's this guy who wants to bang me. And then cook me eggs for breakfast, drive me to work and pick me up when I'm done, ask me bout my day and actually pay attention. It's a bit weird, I just want to do the first bit only. I don't like affection very much.

He is nice though.

Say ma name, bitch.

There's too many Ruby's these days.

I have always wished my name was Kate. Or Kim. Or Tom.

Tom would be cool. But maybe I'd be a wanker and spell it Thom. Then I could have a laugh at the 'th' sound and convince people that really it is pronounced 'THom'. Yeah, that'd be pretty sweet.

Pheromones.

Oh, how my pheromones mistreat me! Not to wank on about how awesome I am, but I've had a grande total of 3 stalkers in my lifetime. The gaining of stalkers runs in the family (mum's side, both guys and girls). My mum has had a fair few.

My current stalker is a little creepy. To make myself feel better I wrote a haiku for him.

It's your eyes that scare 

me, all shiny and wider 

than your gaping mouth.

Pretty choice eh? Yep, I can write seriously. Jealous much.