propositions

A friend of mine just propositioned me for a pash. A 'pash'? I thought that word died in the early 2000's. Lucky I wasn't drunk cos I would have gone there.

It's weird, even an off-hand remark like that can get you asking a few existential questions - like how would his beard feel on my face? Would some rogue piece of fubes (face-pubes) climb its way into my mouth and choke me? Would I get tangled? Would that make it entirely hilarious or produce some epic awkwardness?


Ah, friends.
So many questions!

ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Changes are good, especially when you're changing undies. So I'm changing how I write this: it's gonna be all about my friends. Yep, more Fortuitous Friend Files and other such privacy-invading ditties that flow out of my fingers. Cos themed blogs are way awesomer.

Ava

I have an older sister. Her name is Ava. I think she's 25 or something (meh, it's not important).

When I was younger I used to think she was adopted. We don't look anything alike; for one she doesn't look like a stick insect. Stink for her. Oh and she's white, I guess that's the biggest seller. But brown people are cooler so she missed out on that eh.

She lives in shitty old Christchurch. Last time I went there we got really drunk together with my other sister Georgia. We laughed at this guy who wanted to bang me, then proceeded to throw back Ava-meister shots (yeah that's right, my sis is so cool she has alcohol named after her. No big deal or anything).

What really makes me laugh about Ava is that we freestyle together. A lot. And we're no amateurs - hell no, we fuckin' rock that shit. Nigga! I'll post one of our raps later, I just gotta find it.

I sometimes wish Ava lived in Auckland. But then I remember she's older than me and will probably play the 'older card' when Dad goes to dividing his cool shit (that happened today actually, apparently she's getting the Ford Fairlane when he dies - but I distinctly remember him telling me when I was 12 that I could have it). Maybe he's a fraud? I should get my hands on some Veritiserum like they have on Harry Potter and get the real truth. I'd ask him about his drug-taking days too, that'd make for some mean lolz.

Ava is pretty choice. I suppose I love her. She's a make up artist, and a pretty damn good one too. (If anyone needs her just message me and I'll pass on her number). She currently wants to bang this guy called *Jaryd* (apparently he's pretty awesome in the sack, and his name has been changed cos she's totally a secret spy for the government when she's not a make up artist). She told me not to say that, but hey, sisters fuck shit up. And she's trying to hide the fact that she's killed a guy. I don't even think I have enough people that read this to incriminate her (I'd say I have 2.5 readers in total).... So it's all g in the hood.

I'll let you know who gets the car. If I don't get it, I'm gonna punch the bitch.

earholes.

Facts. Facts are always fun. Here's a fact from me:

I always forget I have pierced ears. When I do remember, I resort to shoving whatever sharp tools (safety pins, paper clips, nails) I can get my hands on to keep them holes alive. Having ear-hole infections reminds me that I have pierced ears.

If I weren't running around doing shows, I'd be an Olympic pole jumper. That's always been a secret dream of mine.

See, nothings' weird when you come from a colourful hippy school (Steiner kid fo life).

Sincerely,
Ruby

A-Mizzle Sexypants.

I love A-Mizzle she is the greatest person on earth :D pretty extreme, but so true. that is all. sorry ruby, i couldnt help it. haha :P

The repercussions of 2 bottles of wine.

There's this guy who wants to bang me. And then cook me eggs for breakfast, drive me to work and pick me up when I'm done, ask me bout my day and actually pay attention. It's a bit weird, I just want to do the first bit only. I don't like affection very much.

He is nice though.

Say ma name, bitch.

There's too many Ruby's these days.

I have always wished my name was Kate. Or Kim. Or Tom.

Tom would be cool. But maybe I'd be a wanker and spell it Thom. Then I could have a laugh at the 'th' sound and convince people that really it is pronounced 'THom'. Yeah, that'd be pretty sweet.