Oh, you pretty things

My friend forced me to join Twitter. Yes, she forced me; moving on.

Looking at what people tweet, it's mostly a bunch of mind-numbing drivel like "I'm having an average night" and such other dull things as "going to the supermarket to buy toilet paper - fuck my ass". Blah blah blah, you tell the world what you're doing every 3 and a half minutes and think you're awesome.

I think I'm getting better with Twitter. I'm pro at replying to people, even placing their name so that it flows nicely with my miniscule little message (none of this hashtag name drop waffle waffle waffle). I follow Jim Carrey, which is pretty bad-ass, as it lulls me into a false sense of grandeur ("yeah fuck yeah I follow Jimbo, half the shit he gets up to really pumps my nads" *tweet tweet tweet*). I have a grand total of 7 followers (none of which are Jimbo, though) and have tweeted exactly 35 times since March 30th. Pretty sweet eh.

So the other night, I decided to disregard all my teachings of my Twitter-guru friend about drunken tweeting. Secretly, I'd had a few, and since I'm a hip young thing I tweeted about it. (Or just tweeted it? Fuck, I'm still not up to par with the lingo). My tweet was simply: 'Beer.'

However,

Some responsible dickheads thought they'd start me on a round of deep self-reflection on life/inebriation in general when they, addict voice, started following me. Addict voice? Now that sounds pretty hardcore. NO! Addict voice is a group of nice people who provide tips and support for those poor sods fighting alcoholism 'the non-AA way'.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Irony, you're a fuckin bitch sometimes.